Macron must be smouldering with humiliation, writes DAVID JONES

In the spirit of the Entente Cordiale, let's start with the positives. The final act of the opening ceremony was a triumph that showcased 's technological ingenuity and theatrical brilliance.

Multi-coloured laser beams lacerated the Eiffel Tower's rusting framework and the Olympic flame floated skyward on a golden orb to the strains of Celine Dion, who had cast ill-health aside to belt out a classic Edith Piaf ballad.

By then, however, I'm afraid it was far too late. After suffering through 210 minutes of tedium, confusion and Clouseau-esque cock-ups, and looking ridiculous in their handout plastic macs, the watching world leaders and celebrities had become Les Miserables.

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