My mum's drunken antics have turned me teetotal at just 23

is on the stereo downstairs. When Mamma Mia starts playing, I groan, rolling my eyes along to the tune, 'Here I go again'.

It's a Friday night and, as Dad's away, Mum has friends over. As usual the gin and tonics started flowing at 7pm, before the party of six switched to rosé. I'm in my room trying to wind down, because I am working the next day.

Fifteen minutes later I hear a crash. I bolt downstairs to find Mum on the floor. It's not the first time I've found her like this: she likes to dance on the coffee table after a few drinks, and more often than not she falls off.

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