Warning: This story contains descriptions of suicide and references to child sexual abuse that some readers may find disturbing. If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, help and support are available. Visit Befrienders International for more information about support services. I am 12 years old and standing in the shower. It is a Monday morning before school and I’ve turned the water temperature all the way up so it will scald my skin and burn any traces of the past weekend off my body and out of my memory. I am not just washing my hair; I am making a plan to end my life. I have four options in my mind. Each of them scares me. My mother knocks on the door, telling me to hurry or I’ll miss my bus. That startles me into action. I settle on my plan, turn the water off and feel relief flow down my spine.According to a medical journal article published in April 2023, suicide is now the leading cause of death for 13-to-14-year-olds in the United States. When I was 12, I thought I was alone in considering such drastic action. No one I knew discussed suicide. It was not a topic that was ever brought up in school. But it was an idea that had lingered in my head for many months before that Monday morning shower.
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