Like many lockdown babies, Riley first met our extended family over a Zoom call. ‘There goes the screen-free childhood,’ I thought, as the faces of my father and siblings popped up on my phone.
Everyone cooed excitedly over the newest member of our clan. Riley, then just hours old, was mostly asleep, stirring to yawn or nuzzle. I, though, was on edge, dreading someone asking ‘The Question’.
Sure enough, it didn’t take long for one of my relatives to enquire: ‘Is Riley a boy or a girl?’ I remembered the careful answer I’d practised, and replied: ‘I don’t know, they haven’t told us yet.’ This might sound like an obvious – and easily answered – first question from a loving relative, but my partner and I had decided to raise Riley, who’s now four, without putting them in the category of male or female. Some call this style of parenting ‘gender-neutral’, others ‘gender-free’.
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